Really, I can't believe Ace of Cakes is still on. Chef Duff of Charm City Cakes is hardly interesting, but most importantly, the cakes for which they're supposedly renowned SUCK! I marvel at how people are so dazzled... it goes to show you that most people just need to be told they're going to like something to decide that they do like it. Maybe people in Baltimore have no standards when it comes to cake.
Here are some issues:
- The designs are not very good. The team is given themes and requests most creative cake-makers would die to work on, but every time, the finished result is lackluster and boring.
- There is no execution finesse. For your consideration, a ratio to illustrate my frustration: Charm City skills is to true cakemaster skills as Crayola Chubby crayon is to .005 Rapidograph. (That's another way of saying that they're clumsy and heavy-handed.)
- Forget about people on your cake. Every Charm City Cake figure looks like it came from the land of Playmobil.
- Nevermind eating the cake. Someone forgot to tell Duff that the primary function of cake is to serve as something to eat. These guys use so much cardboard, styrofoam, and fondant in their "cakes" that eating a slice is probably hazardous to your health.
Please, Food Network, can't you find another cake-design team to give a show? (But no more of those damned cake-themed Food Network Challenges at Disneyworld, please.)
Is that frosting, or it that blood?
Wouldn't you feel good about yourself if someone sculpted your car, face, and arm like this?
Look how clunky the leaves are? Also, there is no detail anywhere. It looks like
they used a press for the brick look, and it's probably 50/50 styrofoam/fondant.
This doesn't look like a firetruck. Or a fireman. It looks like a rectangular block painted red with some silver icing. No details. I'm willing to bet, though, that the wheels are inedible.
That doesn't look like Wonder Woman's crown, and excuse me... did he use those
hard-sugar cake letters you get when you've left a birthday to the last second and
are scrambling to customize a Costco sheet cake?
Is that cake, or is that clay? Also, how about that lettering? Looks all fondant
and cardboard. "No! Alex! Don't let those kids eat the cake! You can't actually
eat it! What were you thinking?"
